The Gift of Chronic Pain

Chronic illness almost forces one to become more aware. To my mind, this is the first lesson of initiation into chronic illness: self-awareness. The awareness of your limitations, most of all, takes your attention back into your body. One might think of this as one way to define a symptom. Symptoms, no matter how minute, should never be ignored. Those of us in the Lyme community have become, in a way, sensitized to this way of self-monitoring. The outsider might say this is neurotic. It is, in fact, an essential part of our keeping track to protect ourselves from potential danger. However, this isn’t without it’s shadow side. 

This brings me to the second lesson of chronic Lyme: letting go of holding patterns that no longer serve one. Chronic Lyme, by invoking a constant and sensitive self-monitoring, becomes a habit, which often serves one to protect them from possible threats. Often, this is a necessity of heroic proportions. It’s critical that we are listened to, because our issues are not psychological. They are medical. 

There comes a threshold, however, where this hyper-vigilance is no longer in service to homeostasis. The perception of a real threat bleeds into the perception of potential, or non-threats. The limbic system is no longer discriminating between safety and danger, and begins assuming danger to non-threats more often than not. 

Let me be clear, this is not a voluntary choice. A person with chronic Lyme does not decide to become sensitive to their environment. It’s their body’s learned response to danger, resulting in multiple-chemical sensitivity, mast cell activation and auto-immunity.

And this response to danger? Without it, our species would not survive. But those of us with Lyme become TOO good at it. 

This limbic system dysregulation marshals our immune mast-cells, which are made from the bone marrow, and line the gut and sinuses profusely, as our first line of defense. As Lyme, or any of its co-infections, turn chronic, our body gradually or rapidly mounts this immune defense against non-threats, such as certain foods, scents, light and sound. 

Although this auto-immune danger response is automatic, one of the ways we can quiet our nervous system’s hyper vigilance is through rebooting the limbic system. This doesn’t replace mast-cell stabilizers and detoxification, but is complimentary. 

In a previous post, I mentioned three ways to help support the nervous system. Annie Hopper, who developed a limbic system retraining program, offers an amazing opportunity to tap into the plasticity of our nervous system. Almost everyone I hear from who has taken it report results from good to amazing. 

The takeaway is this: although the nervous systems of those of use who have Lyme have learned to over-protect us from possible threats, leading to limbic system destabilization and sensitivity, there are opportunities for us to transform this hypersensitivity into a new awareness. Perhaps, an awareness of our own awareness, if I may evoke a meta-phrase. 

This mode of awareness has been one of the gifts that chronic Lyme has brought me. May you find the gift that is yours from eating darkness.